thank YOU ma’am! (anyone at Philly Institute should know who I’m referring to). Last night I was so overwhelmed and becoming dangerously close to feeling delusional while attempting to complete 6 high school math lesson plans all in one night. I was so distressed that we didn’t have more time and occasionally fighting away tears. It was the feeling you have when you’ve waited until the night before to complete a 15 page paper on something you’ve never done before, but…I didn’t wait until the last minute, this was the time allotted to me. But I finished it. I sighed. I smiled. And I even successfully got 3.5 hours of sleep.
SO, TFA. I’m deeply invested now. I’ve began utilizing the acronyms into my own vocabulary, now knowing very proficiently what CMA, SD, LS, CS, & SOM mean with great automaticity. I no longer feel lost in the TFA alphabet soup. The days. Are LONG! I’ve never worked so hard in such a short period of time in my entire life. And I thought I could never work harder than I did to complete my major in college, but this…this affects people’s lives, well being, and so the things that i need to do to be successful are serious. I’m feeling the pressure, and seeing the faces of the students in my class who I witnessed today being taught by someone who didn’t seem to know much more than they did. As the teacher put wrong solutions on the board, misused operations, and other things of that sort. The pressure is on. This is what the students are used to, and I will do everything I can in my power to show them that there is another way. I hope to inspire them to become invested in taking charge of their own education and not relying on someone to feed it to you. Especially in their atmosphere, like an atmosphere I came from, at the end of the day, it’s truly on YOU. Occasionally you might come across a teacher and admin that actually care, but it’s still your own responsibility. The government looks at 3rd grade reading scores as a prediction as to how many jails to build. What is that about? What about building affordable colleges? So! corrupt and heart breaking.
This is why I Teach For America. Because honestly. If not me, then there will be someone else. But there is no guarantee that they will be living up to the expectations that a great teacher should be held to. I’ve been thinking about blogging all week long, but I just didn’t feel up to it, and I can’t think of all the things I’ve wanted to say.
I start teaching on Monday. 2 hours. 2 lessons. Back2back. Everyday that week. Algebra I Freshman. gotta do what ya gotta do. Let’s go. Let your light shineeee